Here’s the subtle downside to splitting the household chores evenly.

My husband likes to do his share of the domestic labor, and I’ve officially deleted the notion that this makes him “modern” from my brain.

When we first moved in together thirteen years ago, he insisted on purchasing two cordless Dysons, promising that he would vacuum frequently enough to justify the cost. He does. He’s also decent at laundry and can fix almost anything.

Still, attempts to help outside unwritten lanes can frustrate more than anything.

He Washes Dishes, But Won’t Dry Them

Since my husband hates bending down to unload the dishwasher (granted, he has a legit back problem), he will often do the dishes the old fashioned way, standing at the sink.

But for whatever reason, he will not dry them. So the stack of dishes next to the sink expands until someone (me, it’s me!) decides to wipe them down and put them away. 

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He Always Chooses the Wrong Food Storage Container

When it’s time to put the leftovers away, I have to move fast. If I let my husband elbow his way into choosing a storage container, he will either pick something way too big or way too small.

We either end up with a half cup of penne inside a gallon sized container swallowing fridge space, or a multi-container storage situation whereby 96.3 percent of the chicken stew is in a medium container and 3.7 percent is in a secondary one doomed to be forgotten.   

He Never Nests the Food Storage Containers Correctly

The nesting and stacking of food storage containers is critical to maximizing cabinet space and ensuring ease of future use. So when someone just can’t get it right, it’s maddening. On account of my husband’s dishwasher aversion, putting away the food storage containers typically falls on me.

But if given the opportunity—while I’m traveling for work, say—he will undoubtedly put the food containers away in the least sensible manner, which means that within five minutes of returning home from a long journey, I have to rearrange them all.  

He Takes Out the Garbage Long Before It’s Full

Before my husband left for a recent work trip, he warned, “You’ll be surprised how often you have to take out the trash.”

I was not surprised. I removed the bag from the receptacle once after five days, confirming a suspicion that my husband’s daily removal of the garbage and recycling is unnecessary.

Maybe he hates the idea of garbage accumulating inside the house. Maybe he doesn’t realize that excessive use of plastic garbage bags is, well, wasteful. Maybe I should talk to him about this.

He Puts Things Away in the Wrong Place

Admittedly, I am very particular. I believe that everything has a home within a home—especially in the case of the pantry and refrigerator.

So when my husband makes a ham sandwich and the deli meat ends up in the fridge’s cheese drawer, I sigh. Upon discovering a bag of almonds in the chip drawer, I shake my head before placing the nuts back on their designated snack shelf.

Let’s not talk about the time I discovered a container of leftover spaghetti in the cupboard where cups and mugs live. 

He Leaves Treats Out at Our Kid’s Eye Level

A sub-habit of the above is the tendency to leave chocolate and other treats out in the open, where my seven-year-old is sure to detect them.

We love treats! We are a dessert-positive household. And I am happy that he tries to put things away. But no one needs to store candy at a child’s eye level, taunting them when they open the fridge door before dinner’s been served.

He Adds Ridiculous Items to My Grocery List

I keep a work-in-progress grocery list on a small yellow Post-it note inside the kitchen junk drawer. When I get to the store, I scan the list of items before making my rounds.

There’s almost always something ridiculous scribbled on there in my husband’s handwriting in addition to our actual household needs, such as: “10 new condiments!” or “all the meatballs!”

I honor these requests, which do not inspire confidence in my shopping prowess, at a rate of about 15%—except when the trespasser list item is “love me,” which is both affordable and adorable.

(Fine, this habit is tolerable.)