
10 Simple Ways to Improve Your Mindset
Every day we’re faced with numerous stressors: overbooking our schedule, dealing with imposter’s syndrome, managing conflict with our loved ones. Although you can’t fix everything at once, you can make some small tweaks that will help you face some of these daily challenges, which ultimately will help you feel better mentally. Below is a roundup of 10 ways you can deal with these stressors, improving your mental health.
RSVP Without Regrets
We often overcommit because the future seems far off and we feel disconnected from our future selves, says Seattle-based psychologist Ann Marie Roepke, PhD. Her advice: “Think about what you’d decide if the event were tomorrow.” Then, and only then, RSVP accordingly.
Don’t Believe Everything You Think
When a negative idea about yourself creeps into your brain, recognize it as just that—an idea. “Feelings are not facts,” says Olivia Verhulst, a New York City–based licensed mental health counselor specializing in trauma. Simply naming it can put some distance between you and the negative thought.
Get Bored Into Being Creative
It’s tempting to work on a project nonstop, but many people struggle to focus on a single task for long stretches. Try breaking up your day—and your thought patterns—with an activity that’s repetitive and not intellectually taxing, such as vacuuming or gardening. It’ll give your mind a chance to wander…possibly to new ideas! When you sit back down to your work, you may find yourself getting more done.
Don’t Assume Winter Equals Depression
It’s also not proven that darkness drags us down. Research indicates that in the U.S., winter depression rates increase with latitude (i.e., Maine residents are more likely to suffer than Floridians), which led psychologists to theorize that lack of daylight was the culprit. “Based on that, you might assume winter depression rates would increase as you head even farther north, but the data doesn’t show that,” says Kari Leibowitz, PhD, author of How to Winter: Harness Your Mindset to Thrive on Cold, Dark, or Difficult Days . “Some research suggests that the people of Tromsö have about the same rates as the people of Maryland.” Light therapy has proved effective for some people with SAD, as has cognitive behavioral therapy, which involves techniques such as reframing negative thoughts in more neutral terms.
Practice Feeling Gratitude
No one walks around being grateful all the time, but you can train yourself to do so, says Melissa Shepard, MD, a psychiatrist in Prince Frederick, Md. “I tell people to think of gratitude less as an emotion and more as a behavior. If you practice gratitude enough, it’s going to become more natural.” That could mean taking a beat after your partner tells you they read a book you liked so you two can talk about it. Or it may be noticing how long a stranger had to stand there in order to hold the door open for you. It’s appreciating the dinner you were able to eat tonight or the sun hitting your face on a crisp fall day.
Sit (and Stand) up Straight
Good posture turns us into (literally) upstanding citizens and it also boosts energy and mood, according to research. Elizabeth Broadbent, PhD, professor of psychological medicine at the University of Auckland in New Zealand, worked with her colleagues to examine the effect of good posture on people with mild to moderate depression. They found that by sitting in an upright position, the people experienced more positive emotions and less tiredness. The researchers believe that hunching over with our eyes cast down—as often happens when we’re on our laptops or phones—we tend to turn our thoughts inward, which can cause negative thinking. And that can make us feel less energized. Standing up straight allows you to look out ahead at the things around you. “As you take in more of the outside world, your brain becomes more stimulated, and you become more alert,” Broadbent explains.
Cultivate Patience
It’s natural to become annoyed at the people you love most. To minimize that, experts say you can learn to practice patience. First, think about how you behave when you’re irritated. Does your voice jump an octave? Do your eyes roll almost involuntarily? Then observe your reaction when you’re trying to be as calm as possible. Do you take a deep breath? Ask clarifying questions? Chances are, you display a wide range of behaviors in both scenarios. Pick one high-emotion response, advises Elizabeth Earnshaw, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Philadelphia, and replace it with one of your patient habits. For instance, when your voice gets louder, take a deep breath.
Become Better at Asking for Help
Everyone needs a hand at some point. And one of the best ways to get the help you need is by being specific. Expecting others to be mind readers gets in our way, says Amie Gordon, PhD, assistant professor of psychology at the University of Michigan: “We think they should know exactly what kind of help we need.” Instead of saying “I hate mammograms, especially going alone,” try, “I’m always a wreck waiting for my mammogram. Will you come with me?” Since helping feels good, don’t deflate your potential helper’s positive feelings by apologizing or telling them what a huge burden you’re placing on them.
And Become Better at Giving Help
Ever offered someone assistance only to trigger their annoyance? Rather than pushing your help onto someone else, try showing your support by asking, “How can I help you as you try to make this change?” says Emily Edlynn, PhD, a clinical health psychologist in Oak Park, Ill. “You want to communicate, ‘I’m a partner with you in this process, I’ve got you, I’m by your side,’ rather than ‘I know what’s best for you,’” she says. If you have ideas of your own, feel free to suggest them, but if they’re not receptive, let it go.