I’m 29, I Make $165K & I Worry I Relate My Net Worth To My Overall Life Success
Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.
Today: a human resources director who makes $165,375 per year and who spends some of her money this week on Beyoncé tickets.
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Occupation: Director, human resources
Industry: Commercial real estate and hospitality
Age: 29
Location: Costa Mesa, CA
Salary: $165,375 base + 20% annual bonus
Household Income/Finances Setup: My partner, Z., and I keep everything separate and just take turns paying for trips, groceries, and household items. He makes significantly more than I do, so he usually pays for more, but we just feel it out.
Assets: Checking: $380; savings: $2,750; HYSA: $45,687; 401(k): $122,870; ROTH and traditional IRA: $24,784 (combined); brokerage account: $4,067.
Debt: $2,280 (credit card bill).
Paycheck Amount (2x/month): $3,190 (after deductions).
Pronouns: She/her
Monthly Expenses
Housing Costs: I live with Z. in a three-bedroom/one-bath house. Our total rent is $2,350 (we have such a good deal). I pay $1,250 and he covers all utilities.
Loan Payments: $584.50 for my car lease.
Renter’s Insurance: $14.67
Car Insurance: $200.67 (Tesla).
Internet: $9.99
ClassPass: $199
Amazon: $16.15
Luminary Media: $4.99
Spotify: $16.99 (I pay for Z.’s.)
AG1 Athletic Greens: $85.13
ChatGPT: $20
Medical/Dental/Vision: $493.14 (for myself and Z. This is my portion; my employer pays 75%).
FSA Contribution: $50
401(k) Contribution: $206.72 (my employer no longer matches, so I greatly reduced this recently).
Savings: $1,500 (straight to my HYSA).
House Cleaning: $130 (every other week).
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
It was always expected in my household that some sort of college was the next step after high school. It never seemed like an option not to. I had a 529 college savings account — after my parents’ divorce, my mom put all of my dad’s child support payments in it. My grandparents would make a payment every year, too. When it was time for me to go to school, I had about $50,000 in the account. I went to community college out of high school for two years, then to a state school, so I ended up using only about $25,00 all in. The rest of it went to my younger sister who is in college now.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
My mom and stepdad are both teachers who are very frugal and don’t prioritize having super-nice things. They go camping for most vacations, drive reasonable cars, make meals at home usually, and overall don’t spend a lot. Conversations with them were limited, but they always seemed to center around a “save more, don’t splurge often” mentality. My stepmom and dad are very different: They spend a ton on travel, eating out, and other experiences. They always lease newer/nicer cars and live a more extravagant lifestyle. Again, limited conversations regarding finances directly, but the mentality in that house is/was enjoy life and spend if you have it. I grew up getting to see two different lifestyles and I credit the way I spend now to picking and choosing the parts of both sides that I liked.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first job was as a summer camp counselor at our church summer camp. I got it for fun and to have some spending money. I also babysat a lot of my younger sisters’ friends throughout the years when I was in community college.
Did you worry about money growing up?
I never worried about not having enough money, but I did always want to have things and go places that required more money than we had.
Do you worry about money now?
I worry about my relationship with money sometimes. I worry I relate my net worth to my overall life success too often. I sometimes get wrapped up in the type of lifestyle I see that I want, rather than what is making me happy in the moment. I do the classic thing of slipping into the “When I have this item, I will be perfectly happy” mindset. I also have struggled with lifestyle creep over the years but lately feel very aligned with the money choices I make.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I was self-sufficient right after graduating college. I started my first full-time HR position the day after I graduated college. I remained on parents’ benefits until 26 and phone and car insurance until 27.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
I received around $800 in bonds from a late family member around the time of my college graduation. I also had my full college tuition and rent at the time paid for.
Day One: Monday
6:30 a.m. — Alarm goes off. I snooze several times. My partner, Z., gets in the shower first, so I check messages and work emails in bed before getting ready. I shower, do my makeup, put my hair in a slicked-back pony, and head to work.
8:30 a.m. — I live only five minutes from my office, which is SUCH a blessing. I arrive and start tackling emails. Two of my team members are out today, so I set expectations low for large projects and focus on organizing and completing smaller tasks to set up a productive week. Since the person who normally does payroll checks is out, I prep two term checks for staff who resigned over the weekend. I have a phone screening with a candidate, do a Zoom interview, and chat with the GM of the hotel my company owns to get the rundown on what happened over the weekend.
12:10 p.m. — Head home for lunch. I make chicken wontons, steamed zucchini, and kimchi with soy sauce, rice vinegar, and chili crunch oil. Z. mentioned wanting to go to Maui in a few months, so I price out rental cars and flights using points while I eat.
12:55 p.m. — Back at the office, tackling emails.
6 p.m. — Head home, change into non-work clothes, and feed our dog, T. Z. is headed out of town tomorrow, and we don’t have much food in the house, so we go to sushi down the street and have a nice conversation while we eat. Z. pays for dinner.
8 p.m. — Get home, do my skincare routine, and get ready for bed. Watch a bit of Severance, then read my book, Four Winds, and fall asleep around 9 p.m.
Daily Total: $0
Day Two: Tuesday
6:30 a.m. — Alarm goes off. Z. is leaving for his work trip today, so we hang out in bed extra long since we won’t see each other for a while.
8 a.m. — Shower, makeup, get dressed. Omg, I am so behind schedule, which I hate.
8:55 a.m. — Arrive at the office. Dive into emails, have a phone screening with a candidate. Feeling snacky, so I grab a mini KIND bar and hot tea from the office kitchen.
11 a.m. — Weekly hotel leadership meeting. Not super eventful, but we’re behind budget for Q1, which is stressful and is taking a toll on team morale.
12:30 p.m. — Head home for lunch and make a tuna sandwich. I only eat tuna salad at home since I always feel the need to brush my teeth after. My friend calls while I’m eating — she secured Beyoncé Cowboy Carter tour tickets! Pricier than expected ($611), but I’m relieved it’s locked in. I tell her I’ll venmo her on Friday when I get paid. Z. stops by home to finish packing, so I wait a few extra minutes to say goodbye again.
1:15 p.m. — Back at work. Answering emails, prepping questions for ownership, have a call with our workers’ comp insurance company and my HR team.
2:30 p.m. — My HR coordinator and I walk to the coffee shop next to our office. I always buy my team coffee on Wednesdays, but since no one will be here tomorrow (again), we do it a day early. We both get matcha oat milk lattes. $15.50
3 p.m. — Back to emails, calls, and handling tasks my team normally does. It is so tough when someone is on vacation!
5:20 p.m. — Head home early and rinse off before heading to a massage.
6 p.m. — I get a 75-minute massage and it is so relaxing. Used ClassPass credits for the service but venmo-ed the therapist a tip. $40
7:45 p.m. — Get home, feed T., do dishes, and make a Girl Dinner of cottage cheese with tomato, balsamic glaze, EVOO, and basil. I do a quick tidy of the house before bed.
9:45 p.m. — Read longer than planned and fall asleep around 10:30 p.m.
Daily Total: $55.50
Day Three: Wednesday
5:20 a.m. — Alarm goes off. I snooze once before getting up, get dressed for the gym, and make some pre-workout.
6 a.m. — Take my favorite workout class of the week: lower body HIIT.
7:15 a.m. — Back home. Check work emails while sitting in the car in the driveway. Finally go inside my house, grab a protein shake, add creatine, and take T. for a walk. Shower and get ready while listening to Fixing Famous People — I get so excited for new episodes on Wednesdays.
8:35 a.m. — Z. calls as I arrive at the office and get settled into my morning. Dive into emails.
9:30 a.m. — Get hot tea from the kitchen and start reviewing payroll. Sadly, my main payroll person isn’t here, but it’s a good exercise to remember how to do it myself.
10:30 a.m. — Grab a mini KIND bar from the kitchen since I am already starving. Knock out more emails and calls.
12:25 p.m. — Company lunch at our restaurant down the street from our office to taste new menu items. I have two tacos, rice, beans, and pickled carrots. Had water and showed restraint by skipping soda (which was DIFFICULT).
1:45 p.m. — Last-minute executive committee call to discuss potential cost-saving measures to combat our slow Q1.
3 p.m. — Call with our payroll provider to troubleshoot a check reversal. Payroll is due by 6 p.m., so not much time to get it wrapped up. Z. FaceTimes me during a break, and we catch up briefly.
4 p.m. — Submit payroll! Such a victory since I haven’t done the full process in over a year.
6:25 p.m. — Get home, let T. out, and feed her. Run to Target for a return, then Whole Foods for groceries. I get eggs (over $10), cucumber, oat milk, olives, spring mix, lemon, and avocados. $35.81
7:15 p.m. — Back home, make another Girl Dinner — cottage cheese, tomato, cucumber, avocado, olive oil, lemon juice, and red pepper flakes.
8 p.m. — Looking forward to a quiet night. Journal a bit, then read longer than planned. Fall asleep around 10:30 p.m.
Daily Total: $35.81
Day Four: Thursday
6:30 a.m. — Alarm goes off. I snooze a couple of times until T. fully wakes me up, and then we go straight for a walk. When we get back, I shower, blow out my hair, do my makeup, and make a breakfast of peanut butter, banana, honey, and chia seed toast. I use our Nespresso and milk frother to make an oat milk latte before heading to work.
8:40 a.m. — My company does free car washes on Thursdays but due to the rain, it’s not happening this week, which makes me bummed. Settle into my office, eat breakfast, enjoy my latte, and review emails. The morning flies by with calls, and I get a lot done!
12:10 p.m. — Head home for lunch. Call my grandma to catch up. Make a salad with spring mix, tuna salad, olive oil, cucumber, avocado, chili onion crunch, and marinated olives.
1 p.m. — Back at the office. Jump on a call with the hotel GM, answer emails, and meet with our founder for answers on various topics. I then meet remotely with two team members to plan for our upcoming safety committee meeting. I also meet with our SVP, and we chat for quite a while. I sign up for a webinar that looks interesting and relevant for my HR team. $44.52 (Expensed)
5:15 p.m. — My friend picks me up for our Galentine’s dinner. It’s pouring rain, and I had booked a patio reservation at the restaurant. They try to seat us under the overhang, but it’s a torrential downpour (for SoCal). We decide to leave and go to my house instead. My other friend meets us there, and we DoorDash Thai food — curry, pad see ew, chicken wings, fried rice, roti, and Thai iced tea, and we open a bottle of red wine I have at home. I pay for the food and don’t charge my friends back since I enjoy hosting and want to make this a new habit. We hang out and chat for hours. I also have a Revolve order of potential Coachella outfits, so I try everything on, and they give me honest feedback. I have two solid outfit yeses and a pair of cowboy boots that I can wear to the Beyoncé show, too. I am thrilled! $106.48
10:20 p.m. — My friend reminds me my car is still at my office, so she drives me back, and I head home and jump into bed.
Daily Total: $106.48
Day Five: Friday
8:15 a.m. — Finally wake up after snoozing my alarm multiple times. Check work emails on my phone, book my workouts for the weekend, and finally get out of bed extremely late. Do a quick tidy of the living room, pack up my Revolve return, start a load of laundry, shower, and do a slicked-back bun.
8:45 a.m. — I’ve personally adopted No Makeup Fridays, so just SPF and clear brow gel for me. T. is still sleeping, so I wake her up, and we go for a walk. When we get back, I make my AG1 and pack Thai leftovers for lunch. I also remember to venmo my friend before putting the remainder of my paycheck toward my credit card bill. $611
9:45 a.m. — Z. calls, and we chat on my way to the bakery to pick up the Valentine’s Day cookies I ordered for the office. $84 (Expensed)
10:15 a.m. — Arrive at the office, put out cookies, and go straight into a website update meeting for our corporate entity.
11:20 a.m. — Heat up my Thai leftovers because I’m starving. Prep some term checks — oh man, I am so ready for my main payroll person to be back next week.
1:45 p.m. — Grab a Valentine’s cookie and hot tea before prepping for my next meeting to review leave of absence info for someone’s upcoming maternity leave.
3 p.m. — Grab a pack of almonds from the kitchen before my meeting. Sort through some mail, close out a few remaining items before the weekend.
4:20 p.m. — Head home, let T. out, and change into workout clothes. Stop at FedEx to drop off two term checks for work, then UPS to drop off my Revolve return.
5 p.m. — Arrive at the spin studio early, so I update my to-do list in my Notes app. Buy a Celsius drink at the front since I cannot get through class without it. $3
6:20 p.m. — Had such a good spin class! I call my grandma to chat, tidy the house, feed T., and shower.
7:30 p.m. — Make mixed greens and brown butter pasta with the Aglio Olio seasoning from Trader Joe’s. I also finish the last two chicken wings from last night, pour a glass of red wine, and start watching Emilia Perez.
8:30 p.m. — Take a break to FaceTime Z. in the middle of the movie. Overall, not impressed and it was tough to finish.
10:40 p.m. — Read for a bit, then fall asleep.
Daily Total: $614
Day Six: Saturday
12:30 a.m. — T. wakes me up to go outside. Read a bit in bed before falling asleep again.
8:30 a.m. — Start a load of laundry and head to yoga class. Pay for two hours of parking since I plan to walk across the street after class. $5.40
10:20 a.m. — Had the best yoga class. I love the instructor, and her flows always feel so good. Walk across the street and pick up a Valentine’s Day card for Z. at a card shop — it is 40% off since it is the day after. I was hoping for this very thing. $4.53
10:30 a.m. — There’s a cute flower stand outside the card shop, and the florist makes me a custom bouquet in a small vase. I have cash and tell her my budget. $25
11 a.m. — Walk over to the marina and a lookout point I used to go to all the time when I lived nearby. Take in the view for a bit before heading out.
11:30 a.m. — Drive through my aspirational “one day” neighborhood to pick up some treats. I get four cupcakes and one cookie for Z. $25.45
12 p.m. — I get home and cycle laundry, make toast with avocado, cottage cheese, red pepper flakes, honey, and eat two hard-boiled eggs.
1 p.m. — Do more chores around the house, then shower, read, and take the most glorious nap.
3:30 p.m. — Z. comes home! So happy to see him. We catch up and chill for a bit, then head to put our name in at our favorite sushi restaurant. There’s over an hour wait, so we walk across the street to watch the sunset over the ocean and chat.
6:45 p.m. — Finally get seated for dinner and we have the best meal. Z. pays.
8 p.m. — We get home and exchange Valentine’s Day cards.
10 p.m. — I read for a bit, then fall asleep.
Daily Total: $60.38
Day Seven: Sunday
8 a.m. — Alarm goes off and I snooze twice before getting dressed for my workout.
9 a.m. — Get to the gym for my full-body HIIT class. After, I stop for a protein smoothie — we don’t have bananas to make one at home and I don’t have my full grocery list yet, so I don’t want to go grocery shopping twice in one day. I buy smoothies for Z. and me. $27.90
1:20 p.m. — Z. and I go grocery shopping. Since Z. paid for a Costco delivery earlier in the day, I buy the steaks we get at the butchery, which are way pricier than expected. We get bacon, a ribeye, a filet, and harissa paste. $105.26
1:45 p.m. — We then go across the street to Trader Joe’s to grab everything else: fingerling potatoes, romaine, red onion, hummus, bananas, sour cream, feta, Caesar dressing, lemons, rice, kettle corn, panko, almond milk, whole milk, parm, cottage cheese, ginger beer, a dip, and pretzels. $61.30
2:15 p.m. — We get back home and snack on pretzels and pimento cheese dip. I then go into meal-prep madness and make harissa chicken bowls for lunch, prep three different salmon marinades, and organize the fridge and plan meals for the week ahead.
4 p.m. — Z. makes me an iced oat milk latte, which I enjoy while having a few cupcake bites. We look at Maui travel and end up booking the hotel and rental car. We both need a break and haven’t been to Hawaii together yet, and it feels so good to have a trip on the books! Z. pays for the hotel and car, and I will use points for our flights.
6 p.m. — Back to my book for two minutes before realizing I need to prep the sides for dinner. We sous vide the steaks, and Z. is in charge of searing them while I make smashed fingerling potatoes with parm and a Caesar salad with toasted panko. I also finish the last of the red wine from the bottle opened earlier in the week. After dinner, I finish my book and cry a little at the ending.
8:15 p.m. — We watch the season 3 premiere of The White Lotus. First episode is definitely a slow build, but I am so excited for the season.
10:10 p.m. — Bedtime.
Daily Total: $194.46
The Breakdown
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