In 2020, Wishbone Kitchen’s Meredith Hayden was working as a private chef for clothing designer Joseph Altuzarra and his family; she moved into the spare bedroom of their Hamptons beach house to cook for the family full-time. While she spent late nights scrubbing down the stove and early mornings whipping up pancake batter, Hayden couldn’t have dreamed that just a few years later she would be buying her own home on Long Island’s celebrity-filled East End.

Thanks to a serendipitous (but highly successful) career as a culinary content creator and cookbook author, Hayden and her Bernese Mountain Dog, Poppy, are settling into their new home, a bright and airy converted barn. After a string of compact New York City rental apartments, Hayden’s new space feels especially roomy—and ideal for entertaining. When hosting her friends and family (whether for holiday feasts or backyard barbecues), Hayden’s style is equal parts casual and generous, with overflowing platters of comfort food, many bottles of bubbly, and a come-as-you-are vibe. Still, she has some house rules for herself and her guests.

Wishbone Kitchen’s House Rules

Here are the maxims Hayden lives by to make her home feel cozy and personal—while still preserving her peace and her space.

Dogs Are Family

The dogs—both my puppy and my family’s dog—are always in the kitchen with me when I’m cooking. I get outrage about it on social media, but that’s just how I was raised. My dogs are where I am—at all times.

No Food on the Furniture

I never thought I’d care about stains, but once you invest in a nice sofa you start to rethink everything. One time, at my apartment in Brooklyn, I told my best friends that if they wanted to drink red wine, they had to sit on the floor. I might be too embarrassed to ask that of guests who I’m not as close with, but I’d probably think it!

Keep It Comfy

I love feeling comfortable, whether that means wearing my softest clothes or wrapping up in a fuzzy blanket. Coming home to a space that feels clean, fresh, and cozy is a priority for me.

How to Host, According to Wishbone Kitchen’s Meredith Hayden

Hayden’s millions of fans know her for her elevated-but-still-casual approach to every gathering she hosts, but it takes work to make hosting look easy. Read on for Meredith Hayden’s tried-and-true hosting habits that make each of her soirees a success.

Q: How do you set the mood when you have guests over?

I love when my house smells good and I love candles. In the summer, I prefer garden scents like tomato leaf, and in fall and winter, I love any balsam scent. When I entertain, I like to light candles while I’m cooking (and before people arrive) to scent the house. When guests come over, I blow out the scented candles so they don’t interfere with the taste of the food. For the table, I stick to unscented tapers. 

Q: How do you deal with hosting stress?

As a former private chef, I can’t turn off the part of my brain that says I’m going to get in trouble if dinner isn’t ready on time! To relieve some of that pressure, I always have something set out for people to nibble on when they arrive for a meal—just in case any kitchen disasters occur. 

Q: What’s the best hostess gift you’ve received?

I love hostess gifts that feel personal in some way. If you gift a bottle of wine, add a little tag saying why you picked it or what it would pair well with. I also love a custom dish towel or a special set of napkins. My favorite present recently was a little watercolor picture of my dog. 

Q: Are guests allowed to help out?

I don’t want to be by myself in the kitchen while all of my guests are having fun in the other room. I like when someone bellies up to the counter and chats with me while I’m cooking, but, honestly, I don’t like help. Just keep me company, and let me chop.

Q: As a chef, is your kitchen always organized or are you more laidback?

I’m someone who really wants to be organized but is very bad at it. I let things get really out of control and disorganized, but every few months I empty out all the drawers and cabinets and do a full home version of a factory reset. I know it would make my life easier if I just put everything away in the right place after using it but that doesn’t seem to happen. I am trying!