To an outsider, Grey’s Anatomy is an ensemble medical drama about the lives and loves of (good-looking) doctors s at a prominent Seattle hospital told through the lens of surgeon Meredith Grey (Ellen Pompeo) as she rises from intern to resident to attending. Real fans, however, know that Grey’s Anatomy is actually an emotional torture device overseen by the brilliant and sadistic Shonda Rhimes, an agonizing exercise in grief and loss delivered in weekly installments. Grey’s Anatomy is about all that makes us human: our blood, tissue, and bone, as well as our hearts, souls, and minds.

Ranking all the seasons is sort of an impossible undertaking, since the dynamics and cast are always shifting. Heck, the name of the hospital changed from Seattle Grace to Seattle Grace Mercy West to Grey Sloan Memorial. There’s an argument to be made that everything before Derek (Patrick Dempsey) and Meredith get together for good is one show about falling in love with your married boss, everything during their marriage is another show, and everything post-Derek is a third thing altogether. And depending on a viewer’s loyalties—to a particular character or relationship—everyone has their own idea of when the show was at its “best” and “worst.”

With all that in mind, this is merely an attempt to corral the many, many, OH SO MANY, hours of Grey’s Anatomy into a ranking based on which plot lines felt the most random, forced, or arbitrary versus the ones that we simply couldn’t look away from. From worst to best…

Season 5

I have zero medical training, but this season made me scared for all of the hospital’s patients. What the hell are the doctors doing? Practicing medicine on each other just to be cool, getting hyper-competitive over surgery assignments, going out of their specialties to shake things up and try to boost their rating? This is the season that the ceiling collapses on someone in the middle of surgery. Sorry, but I can’t invest in any of the personal stuff unless I’m also confident that the sick people are receiving at least competent care.

Season 9

Kelsey McNeal