Season three, episode five: Jaclyn and Valentin

The race to see which of the three frenemies, Laurie (Carrie Coon), Kate (Leslie Bibb), or Jaclyn (Michelle Monoghan) would hook up with their shared yoga instructor/wellness coach Valentin is over. And the winner is… Jaclyn. Because of course she is.

After a night of heavy partying on the beach and then back at the villa, Jaclyn sneaks Valentin into her room once her “friends” are safely in bed. Which was some really next-level mean girl behavior because Jaclyn had spent the past few days convincing Laurie that Valentin was totally into her and she should totally hook up with him.

The scene itself is actually pretty tame, by White Lotus standards. Jaclyn, in her skimpy white negligee, whispers “Let’s fuck” into Valentin’s ear, she watches eagerly as he undresses, and then they get to business, missionary-style, with the nightie still on. Are the characters behaving despicably? Yes. Am I mad about this scene? I am not.

Season one, episode four: Armond and Lukas

Self-destructive hotel manager Armond (Murray Bartlett) spends most of season one hurtling toward an inevitable breaking point. When a difficult guest finally sends him off the deep end, he immediately goes on a sex, drugs, and alcohol-fueled bender. At the height of it, he propositions one of his employees, Dillon (Lukas Gage), asking for sex in exchange for days off. “Listen, I’m obsessed with you. I want to get you naked. What do I gotta do?” he bluntly asks in true predator fashion.

We get a glimpse of Armond, naked, performing analingus on Dillon in his office. So do Shane (Jake Lacy) and coworker Belinda (Natasha Rothwell) when they walk in on the pair doing the deed. But the rest of their partying is left to the imagination.