“If a song is controversial or offensive to any community member, that should really be thought about,” she said, adding that couples create “a whole world on their wedding day for themselves and their guests.”

Don Woodbury, a wedding D.J. based in Salt Lake City, said he asks clients to list five to 10 songs, or an entire genre, that they would like him to avoid. “I like to know what might offend somebody, or not hit well with that particular client,” he said. (But, he added, he has his limits: “I’ve gotten lists of 30, 40, 50 songs on a ‘do not play’ list, and at that point it’s overly prescriptive.”)

Music with explicit lyrics or dissonant sounds, like punk, rap or screamo (a subgenre of emo music with screechy vocals), is often a no-go, said Mr. Woodbury, who’s done over 2,000 wedding gigs, mostly in Utah, Nevada, Idaho and Colorado.

When Adam Turem-Samaniego, 48, and John Turem-Samaniego, 43, married in St. Petersburg, Fla., in February, they asked their D.J. to avoid heavy metal and rap. “We wanted to keep it light and upbeat,” said Adam, a home renovations and design professional.

Although John, a competitive gymnastics coach, listens to both genres, he agreed to forgo them for the wedding. As Adam put it: “My mom’s a senior citizen.”