I’ll start with a confession: There are few things I love more than perusing the wedding website of a loose acquaintance or perfect stranger. This in itself feels like an etiquette no-no—surely it’s the digital equivalent of inviting yourself to a party—but if it’s on the internet with no password protection, who am I to deny myself the pleasure of scrolling someone’s registry to see which china pattern they picked? 

Through this sleuthing, I’ve borne witness to a number of burgeoning wedding trends—some of which I love (touting donations to a charitable organization of the couple’s choice as an alternative to a traditional gift); some of which I’d rather never see again (honeymoon funds). 

The New Wedding Dress Code Trend

In recent years, another practice has slowly crept into the matrimonial mainstream: highly specific wedding dress codes, many times accompanied by Pinterest boards for inspiration. 

Our readers often lament that people don’t know how to properly dress for weddings anymore, showing up in duds far too casual for the celebration at hand. But while I’m all for dressing in a way that honors the occasion, it sucks some of the fun out of things when a Pinterest board dictates exactly what a guest should wear, down to the color. 

Of course, I recognize that most of the couples putting together these visuals don’t expect their guests to copy/paste the looks for themselves. It’s a well-intentioned means of making sure everyone in attendance is aware of attire expectations and feels comfortable at the celebration, especially when the dress code leans more creative and may be a bit trickier to decipher, like Palm Beach Chic or Mountain Formal. 

Why Couples Should Skip The Pinterest Board

But on the flip side, it also seems like a lot of pressure for guests, who are likely investing a good bit of time and money to celebrate the wedding. When they’re already buying a gift, using vacation days to travel, shelling out for a hotel, and formulating childcare plans, a request to wear a specific color or dress in an incredibly niche outfit may feel like one more thing on an expensive to-do list, rather than the playful, fun invitation it was intended. 

So if you’re planning a wedding, consider this: Choose whatever dress code your heart desires—however creative it may be (a personal favorite in recent memory joyfully called for “Black Tie, Bring It”)—and then let your guests run wild with it, no mood board in sight. You’re inviting these people because you love them. Let them surprise you.