I’m 22, I Make $10.5K & I Have To Spend 95% Of My Day In Bed
Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.
Today: a sex education coach and podcast manager who makes $10,500 per year and who spends some of their money this week on a black light for her cat’s urine.
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Occupation: Sex education coach and podcast manager
Industry: Sexuality education and podcasting
Age: 22
Location: Washington
Salary: $10,500
Household Income/Finances Setup: I live with my partner, F., but our income isn’t joint. We don’t share finances.
Assets: Savings: $41,000; investments: $5,000. I was gifted a Tesla Model Y 2020 by my family this year. I also have a couple of pieces of jewelry that are probably worth a few hundred.
Debt: $0 (my parents paid what wasn’t covered by scholarships, for which I am infinitely thankful!).
Paycheck Amount (Monthly): $700-$800
Pronouns: They/them
Monthly Expenses
Housing Costs: $0. I rent with one roommate (my partner, F.); my rent is currently waived by my landlords. Utilities, WiFi and so on are included in the rent.
Monthly Loan Payments: $0
Health Insurance: I’m under my family’s.
Phone: Covered by my family.
Car Insurance: Covered by my family.
Streaming/Subscriptions: I mooch off my partner’s family’s streaming subscriptions.
Canva: I use this for work; mooched off of my partner.
Metricool: $22 (for work).
Pet Insurance: $66
HYSA Contribution: I put a few hundred into my HYSA when I can — this is flexible each month.
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
College was never a question in our family. It was definitely an expectation that I would go to school. I went to undergraduate with a small scholarship and my parents paid for the rest. This left me with no debt.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
We never had conversations about finances, though I wish we did. I have always had a scarcity mindset around money and now like to penny-pinch and save when I can. Both of my parents grew up poor and lived “The American Dream” by building themselves up after immigrating here for a job.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
Ever since I was 8, I’ve pet sat (just neighbours’ pets at the start); I did it through college, too. I love animals, so this has always been fun for me. I also got a few jobs throughout high school and college as well. It was money to save — I am grateful it wasn’t a necessity for family bills or something similar.
Did you worry about money growing up?
While we didn’t talk about money, my family provided and I never had to worry about money. When the Great Recession hit, I felt a little bit of stress. I’m very, very privileged for growing up in this way.
Do you worry about money now?
I am extremely worried about money now. I am severely disabled and housebound — 95% of my day must be spent in bed. I need a lot of support, which costs a lot of money. On top of this, I cannot work full time (and struggle with part-time work). I know the realities of living on disability and I am pushing myself to try to not have to survive off of that, but I wonder what I am doing to my health by doing so. On top of this, I also don’t work in a high-paying field.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I am not financially responsible for myself. My safety net would be my family. My second safety net would be my partner F. and their family.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
I received a car this year. All the financial help I receive is listed above.
Day One: Friday
8 a.m. — Happy Valentine’s Day! I start my morning by wishing my partner, F., a happy Valentine’s Day, before heading off to feed my three meowing kitties their breakfast. I grab a protein shake for myself, take my morning meds, and then settle back into bed to chat with F. I give them their Valentine’s Day gift and we relax together. I watch Garden Answer on YouTube and they go on TikTok.
9 a.m. — I start work, grateful for the flexibility to choose my own hours and schedule. This freedom allows me to adjust my workload around the fluctuations of my myalgic encephalomyelitis [or chronic fatigue syndrome; referred to as ME/CFS in subsequent mentions] symptoms, helping me manage my energy through pacing.
11:45 a.m. — I have lunch: a protein shake, protein bar, and some raisins and strawberries with my meds. My partner heads off to a mid-term and I continue working into the afternoon.
4:45 p.m. — Dinner time! I have chips and guacamole, a protein shake, an apple, and a Fruit By the Foot with my meds.
8 p.m. — I spend the evening bouncing between bursts of work and reality TV, giving my brain a break. In between, I make sure the kitties are fed.
10 p.m. — My partner gets home late, and we catch up on each other’s days before winding down and heading to bed. I go through my usual wind-down routine: brushing my teeth, flossing, washing my face, moisturizing, and applying tretinoin. I track my symptoms for the day in my tracking apps, checked my Oura app for insights (I’ve had a “Lifetime membership” since it first launched, so I don’t pay the monthly fee — wouldn’t be worth it to me otherwise). I finish with a breathing exercise, quick meditation, take my meds, and wrap it up by checking the Finch Self Care App and ticking off a few tasks.
Daily Total: $0
Day Two: Saturday
8 a.m. — Good morning! I jump out of bed quicker than usual today: I’ve got a meeting with clients in just half an hour. I scramble to gather my computer, notepad, a protein shake and meds, while my lovely partner takes care of feeding the kitties.
9:30 a.m. — I finish up a productive session with some clients. I currently work under another sex coach, where we charge $100 per couples session, of which I make $25. When I first accepted this role, I was grateful to be earning above minimum wage while also receiving mentorship. However, over time, I’ve realized that I’m essentially doing all the work of a sex coach while receiving minimal guidance: certainly not $75 per session’s worth (in fact, I haven’t had any mentorship in months!). Despite this, I’ve chosen to stay in the role because I genuinely enjoy working with my clients and am focused on accumulating the direct education hours required for my AASECT certification as a sexuality educator. Once I’ve met those requirements, I plan to transition into my own practice. Initially, I had considered negotiating for a higher cut, but after reflecting on how undervalued I’ve been in this role, I’d rather move on to something that truly aligns with my worth.
11:45 a.m. — I wrap up my notes and send out invoices from today’s session before settling into bed with F., who’s watching Severance (we’re planning to watch it together once they’re ready to re-watch it from the beginning). I have the same lunch as yesterday (minus the Fruit By the Foot) before getting ready for a consult with potential new clients.
12:30 p.m. — The consult went well and I have two new clients, yay! I work on sending out contracts, intake forms, and getting them on the schedule.
1 p.m. — I order groceries for delivery since my ME/CFS limits my ability to go out and shop in person. Today’s haul includes tortilla chips, dried strawberries, raisins, limes, cilantro, avocados, yogurt and frozen cherries (for F.), frozen cauliflower (for F.), tomatoes, protein bars, and apples. Of course, there are the usual extra fees: tip, delivery fee, bag fee, and all the other charges they add on. F. and I don’t share finances, but will usually grab a few groceries for each other when needed. $170.01
4:45 p.m. — I spend the afternoon working, but I’m feeling completely wiped out. I definitely pushed myself too hard. I can barely peel myself out of bed (where I work) to go make the same dinner as yesterday.
10:30 p.m. — I unwind with some TV, scrolling through TikTok, and watching random YouTube videos. Then, I go through my usual wind-down routine. I’ve been trying a new face wash by Prequel from Target. I think I’m liking it!
Daily Total: $170.01
Day Three: Sunday
7 a.m. — Good morning. I did not sleep well at all. I was hot and the kitties were making a ruckus! I get up to feed them, grab my usual breakfast, take my meds, and see some texts from work so I get started on that.
11 a.m. — F. is ready to watch Severance together. I was a bit hyperfocused on work, but I peel myself away because I know they’re excited to watch it with me (so that makes me excited!). It was interesting. (We watch it on F.’s computer: they have an Apple TV subscription that I mooch.)
11:45 p.m. — I eat a protein shake, raisins, and dried strawberries with meds. I’m tired, so I move between work and watching YouTube all afternoon.
4:45 p.m. — Dinner time! I’m having the same meal as yesterday, but with a sweet bonus: a Fig Newton F. picked up from the convenience store. So grateful for that little treat! I’m feeling pretty exhausted, so the rest of the evening is a mix of TV and a bit of work when I can muster the energy.
10 p.m. — I go through my usual wind-down routine and finally get to bed. The kitties all snuggle in: two at the foot of the bed and one in her plug-in heated bed. F. is next to me. Life feels pretty perfect with everyone close by like this. Goodnight!
Daily Total: $0
Day Four: Monday
5 a.m. — F. wakes up with cramps and heads to grab some medicine, but little did we know, our kitty, M., had peed outside the box! Thankfully, F. noticed, and we spent some time cleaning up and checking on him. He has a condition that affects his urinary tract, which is mostly managed with daily anti-pain and anti-anxiety medication. However, he sometimes experiences flare-ups, leading to accidents or holding in his urine (something that can turn into a medical emergency). So, while it’s obviously not ideal, I’m actually relieved he peed (and didn’t hold it in) and we could address it. We give him another dose of medication and try to get back to sleep. F. dozes off, but when I get stressed, my pain flares up, and I end up tossing and turning.
9 a.m. — I think I managed to get a bit more sleep, but now it’s time to start my day as usual: feeding the kitties, grabbing a protein shake, and taking my meds. I say goodbye to F. as they head off to class. I’m feeling pretty exhausted! I’m guessing it’s a mix of lack of sleep, my chronic illness, my upcoming period, and some lingering pain. But then I see a message from work and push through to get started on it.
11:30 a.m. — I have a quick meeting with an SEO expert to discuss getting some help with my website SEO, then grab the same lunch as usual. I greet F. when they get home from class, and my poor kitty is extra drugged from his extra medication, so I shower him with love and treats (some Bonito flakes and tuna).
4:45 p.m. — I work for a bit, but eventually hit a wall and feel totally exhausted and anxious (lack of sleep revs up my anxiety, anyone else?), so I spent about an hour scrolling through TikTok while snuggling with my kitty. F. goes to Trader Joe’s for groceries and brings me back some avocados and flowers! I used to be a florist before I got sick, so flowers always bring me so much joy; I love to play with them. I thank them before they head out again to tackle some admin work and to-dos. I have fun arranging the flowers in a vase, have the same dinner as yesterday, and unwind with TV (RuPaul’s Drag Race), an audiobook (The Body Keeps The Score), and a little bit of work.
10 p.m. — Goodnight! As I reflect on this week, I keep thinking: *This must be so boring for readers to read.* All I do is rest, work, and eat — why would anyone want to read this? But then I realize… They should read it. We still don’t fully understand what causes myalgic encephalomyelitis, and there’s no cure. Many people with this condition are completely bedbound, unable to even hold a conversation with their loved ones. ME has taken so much from me, and even more from those who are more severely affected. So, while this might seem like a “boring” Money Diary, it matters. It’s a small window into how we live and what’s being taken from us. There should be more awareness and a broader fight for a cure, because this can affect anyone.
Daily Total: $0
Day Five: Tuesday
8 a.m. — I wake up feeling exhausted and destroyed: I know this is PEM (post-exertional malaise) from arranging those flowers yesterday. PEM is the hallmark symptom of ME/CFS. It’s a full-body crash, with symptoms like fatigue, a sore throat, a flu-ish feeling, nausea, light sensitivities, brain fog, and headaches (to name a few). My brain is sluggish, my throat aches, and it’s hard feeling a pressure to slow down and rest for something like flower arranging, which used to be a breeze and brought me so much joy. I am lucky that F. feeds the kitties. I grab a protein shake, take my meds, and get back to bed.
11:45 a.m. — After some rest in bed, I have the same lunch as yesterday, then curl up and shut my eyes for the afternoon.
2:30 p.m. — My body refuses to let me sleep, but I’m so glad I forced myself to slow down; it’s hard when there’s always something that *needs* to get done. My brain craves a little stimulation, so I spend the afternoon watching reality TV, even though all I really want to do is sleep the day away. The window is open and I’m grateful for the sounds of nature outside: slowing down can be a gift, too.
4:45 p.m. — I have the same dinner as usual, then settle in for the night to watch Severance with F. Afterwards, I follow my usual nighttime routine like feeding the kitties, checking my self-care apps, meditating, doing some breathing exercises, brushing my teeth, and all the other little rituals. Lights out by 10:30 p.m.!
Daily Total: $0
Day Six: Wednesday
8:30 a.m. — Good morning! I start my day with my usual routine then dive into work. I’m feeling a bit better than yesterday, but definitely not back to baseline. For me, and others with ME/CFS, baseline isn’t about feeling “normal” or symptom-free — it’s still managing the ongoing symptoms like profound fatigue, pain, brain fog, dizziness, and sleep disruptions, but at a lesser extreme than post-exertional malaise (PEM). Today’s symptoms are definitely a little brighter than yesterday, though! For that, I am very grateful.
11 a.m. — I have an intake appointment with some new clients, which goes smoothly. Afterwards, I settle in for my usual lunch and then spend time rest, rest, resting. It’s warming up here and the birds have been noisy — it’s a lovely sound to rest with.
4:45 p.m. — I’m still dealing with PEM and honestly feeling pretty rough, so the afternoon is spent horizontal, either with my eyes closed or watching TV. When it’s time for dinner, I whip up the same meal I’ve been having, with a little help from F.
5 p.m. — I order a black light flashlight online so we can pinpoint exactly where we need to clean up after our kitty’s accident earlier in the week. I think it’ll be a good investment, helping us prevent future accidents in the same spot by ensuring we thoroughly clean the area and making cleanup easier if it happens again. $12.99
10 a.m. — I’m lucky to finally get to take a shower — between PEM and everything else, I haven’t been able to for a while. I’m so grateful for F., who helps with physically demanding tasks like this. It’s not perfect, but it lets me conserve a bit of energy, which means I can shower and do other activities more often than if I pushed myself to do it alone. I wind down with my usual routine, hoping for deep sleep to help recover from PEM and get back to baseline. I’m feeling a bit anxious about everything coming up this week and hoping I can rest enough to still take everything on.
Daily Total: $12.99
Day Seven: Thursday
9 a.m. — Good morning! 🙂 Happy day seven! I start the day just like I have all week — except today’s different: I actually get dressed and put on makeup… Whatttt? Why, you ask? Well, I’m about to be a guest on my very first podcast! It’s a big step and totally outside of my comfort zone, but I know it’s a great opportunity to try something new, spread the word about my business, and share my knowledge.
11 a.m. — My first podcast is officially done! I was pretty nervous going in, but I was well prepared. I can already tell it took a huge emotional toll on me; I know this will probably stretch out my PEM, but for now, I’m just sitting with the gratitude. This feels like such a big milestone — putting myself out there in a way that feels so unlike me, sharing my work, and stepping into new networking spaces. When you’re a small business and *you* are the product, selling yourself becomes part of the deal, which, honestly, feels weird and so not me. But here’s to pushing past the discomfort and trying new things!
11:45 a.m. — I have the same lunch as usual, then take advantage of the makeup by filming a few reels and TikToks for my business accounts. Gotta make the most of it while I’m looking put together!
4:45 p.m. — I spent the afternoon resting and scrolling through social media. For dinner, I have the same meal as usual while reflecting with F. on the podcast experience. It was so far out of my comfort zone — definitely not like me at all! What an interesting way to wrap up my last day of my Money Diary.
10 p.m. — Ending the day in my usual way, with my routine that helps me unwind and rest. Looking back, it’s been a week full of ups and downs (aren’t they all?): navigating PEM, trying new things like the podcast, and balancing work with rest. Thank you so much for reading and sharing this experience with me!
Daily Total: $0
The Breakdown
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