Just when you thought that the rental market couldn’t get more dystopian, it manages to outdo itself. The latest bleak new development for private renters? Landlords attempting to lure in prospective tenants with the promise of… mental health check-ins! The irony is painful, like when a tyrannical boss returns from an HR training session and starts telling their colleagues that it’s “OK not to be OK” (but, ideally, not on work hours, please).

This particular proposal, I should add, doesn’t involve your landlord asking you whether you’ve downloaded the Headspace app to do its mindfulness exercises or telling you to “try going for a walk” when they pop round for their mid-tenancy inspection. According to The Telegraph, the build-to-rent developer Moda is trying to win over potential renters at Embassy Boulevard, its latest London premises, near Battersea Power Station, by offering subsidised rates on virtual counselling sessions, as well as laying on breathwork and sleep workshops and “deep rest” sessions.

I have no experience of Moda and am not suggesting that they are substandard landlords, but in general, anyone who has rented long-term will know all too well how the process can really do a number on your mental wellbeing. There’s the way that a sense of impermanence gradually seeps into you, ensuring that you never feel entirely at peace – why would you, when an email from your landlord could turn your living situation upside down? There’s the stress of managing the inevitable problems, such as dealing with an uncooperative lettings agency when your boiler has conked out for the third time this winter, for example, or the lurking horror of a rodent infestation (I’m pretty sure I have some form of post-traumatic condition after rats took up residence in the kitchen plumbing of an old flat – any vaguely scratchy noises in the night still jerk me into fight or flight mode).

And, if you happen to be living in a houseshare, there’s also the tension that often arises when random assortments of people are forced to live in close proximity, with little in common other than a mutual need to access, say, a certain train station for their commute. No wonder, then, that in a study from the campaign group Generation Rent, nine out of 10 private renters stated that the experience had negatively impacted their mental health; another survey from the same group, released back in 2019, found that renters were 75 per cent more likely to experience serious anxiety and depression than homeowners.

So when I first read about this scheme, part of me thought, hey, at least a big property company is making gestures around mental wellbeing. Shouldn’t we be glad that some landlords might be waking up to the fact that their tenants are actual humans with actual feelings, rather than just sentient bank accounts designed to be milked dry? But the very fact that I responded in that way, however briefly, just goes to underline how, in general, tenants have been starved of good solutions to the UK’s glaring rental problem. We’ve been ground down (by private landlords) and overlooked (by politicians) for so long that we’re expected to gladly receive any tiny concessions.

My worry is that programmes such as this one might serve only to position good mental health as some sort of glossy perk or add-on, rather than a fundamental need. There is something a little jarring about seeing mental health check-ins listed as a potential benefit alongside the promise of a karaoke room and a golf simulator. It feels a bit like when employers offer ping-pong tables and yoga classes to try and prove that they are mindful of their workers’ wellbeing (when most workers would probably prefer work-life balance and a pay rise over organised fun).

Rents at Embassy Boulevard reportedly start at £2,600 per month, with a three bedroom apartment costing £4,600. Surely we can all agree that this is a hell of a lot of money to spend on accommodation. Equating renting an expensive apartment with positive mental health benefits just further hammers home the message that mental wellbeing is something that’s reserved for those who can afford it, a luxury rather than an essential.

Mental wellbeing benefits like these feel like a shiny sticking plaster slapped on a much bigger issue. Having to spend a vast proportion of your income indefinitely on somewhere to live is incredibly draining; doing so can force you into living arrangements that are frankly terrible for your state of mind, whether that’s dragging out a relationship that’s no longer working because you couldn’t afford to rent alone, or sharing a tiny space with people you barely know, let alone like. Breathwork sessions sound lovely, but they’re unlikely to offer much more than a temporary respite for a seriously stressed out renter. Fundamentally, they feel like a marketing gimmick, one that would serve landlords (who could pat themselves on the back about how supportive they’re being) rather than tenants.

The only way we can really start to untangle the messy relationship between renting and mental health across the country is to think long term, rather than to focus on glamorous-sounding add-ons. You know what would drastically improve the mental health of almost every single renter I know? Proper rules in place to stop excessive price hikes year on year. Speedy fixes for problems within the properties. Better tenants’ rights. More affordable flats, rather than luxury ones. All of these changes would likely do more for our sleep than a snazzy workshop. We should be trying to treat the cause, not the symptom – and we can’t let flashy, short-term novelties distract us from that.