I started to wonder why I had misunderstandings wherever I went. I sent my daughter to school in a pillowcase and Jesus sandals on the wrong day for a school church service. My internet went down three times. The dog vanished from my home when I went to the shops – I thought I’d left the front door open. It turned out a dog walking company had taken him – they hadn’t got the message I wanted to cancel weeks ago. Then I had a bust-up in a Thai café over a booked table for lunch they said I hadn’t booked. As we drove home, I got trapped behind a bus and a car for 45 minutes, when the vehicles collided and wedged together.

I was in a bad mood, too, as I’d accidentally sent a text to the worst person it could’ve gone to, which was enormously embarrassing. “Why, why, why did I do that?” I screamed. Sure, these things can happen at the best of times ­– but it was one thing after another. My life isn’t usually as haphazard – what was going on?

That’s when I grabbed my phone and googled it: Yes, it’s Mercury retrograde. All the signs were there: A cosmic rewind that supposedly creates havoc with communication, transport, and tech, and brings unresolved issues to the surface. In other words, modern-day chaos.

It’s the first one of 2025. It went retrograde on 15 March – at least now that I know we’re in that dreaded phase until 7 April, so I can navigate any unexpected changes more skilfully, rather than be taken by surprise.

Mercury being in retrograde doesn’t mean the planet is literally going backward. It is, in fact, an optical illusion when the planet appears to be travelling in the opposite direction to usual from our point of view on Earth, which happens about three or four times a year. But I’m not blaming it – or shifting responsibility onto a planet. It’s just my experience.

Now I wish I hadn’t been so impulsive and argumentative with the friend I fell out with – and recognised it was just a “Mercury retrograde misunderstanding”. I could have slowed down, as is the cosmic advice.

Of course, there’s always the danger of feeling more stressed and anxious if you’re waiting for a Mercury retrograde moment. But for those interested in following planetary activity, astrology can offer agency and structure in a frequently confusing and sometimes scary world, whether it’s a bewildering day of missed connections (see: Mercury retrograde) or intense emotions (for that, you might thank a solar eclipse).

TikTok and Instagram have made astrology widely accessible. A recent US survey found that 80 per cent of Gen Z and younger millennials believe in astrology. For Gen Z, it’s replaced God and even talking therapy. It can help people build a sense of self and bring greater self-awareness.

“This retrograde has been so intense for a few reasons,” says Kirsty Gallagher, a spiritual coach and astrology expert, whose new book Your Cosmic Purpose is out 5 June. “It’s been happening in the very last and first degrees of the zodiac, and Venus has been in retrograde almost exactly alongside Mercury. This has also been asking us to review our relationships, values, self-worth and sense of self.”

She explains that as these planets have been moving over the beginning degrees of Aries, into the final degrees of Pisces (and now they will come back into Aries again, the very beginning of the zodiac wheel), it’s been a massive “clear out”, asking us to leave behind old versions of ourselves and to step into who we always came here to be.

“You’ll have been able to see what keeps you stuck in the past or where your repeating behaviours, patterns and cycles and what needs letting go once and for all,” she says. It’s brought “a huge reset”, she says – “of your heart, your mind, your beliefs, your values, and your relationships.”

But far from ruining your life, she adds, Mercury retrograde is actually “an invitation” to be a little more mindful, “to see where you’re rushing and always worrying about things or living too much in the past or future”.

The famous astrologer Shelley von Strunckel, who does in-depth birth charts, tells me it’s crucial to understand that Mercury retrograde isn’t a curse. “The planet appears to be going backward – so we have a backward experience of it. Things don’t happen the way we anticipated,” Von Strunckel says. “But there is a tendency to demonise it.” Instead, she refers to the period as like any other cycle of nature – and if you’re prepared for it like a rainy day, it allows you to take precautions.

Would somebody clued up on astrology sign a legal document or get married under these circumstances? “Probably not,” she says. “I’ve learned to leave more time if I’m travelling and expect delays.” But it’s an opportunity to learn, she adds – because it helps us spot what “we need to tidy up”. She also adds that a lot of stuff that happens to people during a Mercury retrograde would happen anyway – and it’s important not to be “superstitious”.

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“Once astrology was destiny orientated and deeply predictive – but so was life,” she says. “Now, however, astrology is about self-awareness – how to change or improve your situation.”

How Mercury retrograde impacts us is dependent on which sign Mercury is in at the time, she tells me. “In Aries, it’s about action, getting on with it, so if you’re in a hurry, be careful,” she advises. “Whereas in Pisces, the highly intuitive sign, it may be easier to pick up on a problem before it arises.” Insight into how to handle the Mercury retrograde can also differ depending on which zodiac sign you are.

Astrology, the study of observing the movements and relative positions of celestial bodies and believing their positions can influence human lives, has been around for about 5,000 years. It is, however, not backed up by science and considered by some as mythical rubbish.

A recent study found that astrology doesn’t work – and predictions based on the motion of the planets and stars are no better than random guesses, scientists say. In the test conducted by mathematician Spencer Greenberg and US social enterprise, Clearer Thinking, 152 astrologers were given information about an unknown individual and asked which of five possible birth charts belongs to that person. The astrologers were only right 20 per cent of the time and often disagreed. Likewise, Paul Byrne, an associate professor of Earth, environmental, and planetary sciences at Washington University, told the BBC: “There’s just no way the motion of planets through the cosmos can affect us.”

He continued: “The only way I can think of another planet having any kind of impact on us if one were to stroll around at night looking up at Mars, say, or Jupiter or Venus – and by not looking where they’re going, walk into a lamppost.”

The truth is, however, that just because something isn’t proved by science (yet), doesn’t mean it’s not valid or helpful. I’ve contacted my dead father through a medium, with astonishing results, and even though I don’t live my life via tarot cards or a psychic, I’ve certainly found their guidance invaluable – and eerily spot on.

Taking heed of Mercury retrograde doesn’t mean surrendering to fate and powerlessness. Quite the opposite; it gives us back some control. It’s like brainstorming solutions with a friend. Mercury retrograde is just another small signpost in the journey of self-discovery. It can also be a bumpy ride, but at least it’s only happening three times this year – rather than four.