Following her breakout role in the 1994 Peter Jackson film “Heavenly Creatures,” New Zealand’s own Melanie Lynskey has enjoyed quite a successful career. Over the course of Lynskey’s complete evolution, she had a recurring role on the popular sitcom “Two and a Half Men” from 2003 to 2015. In 2013, she worked on the film ” The Big Ask” — a project she nearly skipped but ultimately met her husband on. Years later, Lynskey has earned praise for her role in prestige TV dramas like “Yellowjackets” and “The Last of Us.” She even made a couple of guest appearances on the beloved coming-of-age sitcom “Young Sheldon,” a prequel to “The Big Bang Theory.”

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But for all of her success, Lynskey has also had to contend with a lot of sadness and disappointment in her life, particularly as it pertains to the entertainment industry. Between her rocky time working on “Two and a Half Men” and having to put up with body shaming, Lynskey seems acutely aware of the fact that Hollywood isn’t always the nicest place. The actor has also been open about the fact that she formed a close friendship with her “Heavenly Creatures” co-star Kate Winslet and was utterly devastated when the two ultimately drifted apart. We spoke exclusively with Dr. Kelly Vincent, Licensed Psychologist, to discuss why her experience with Winslet had such a deeply profound effect on Lynskey and further understand the sad details of the actor’s life.

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It never feels good when you believe you’re being undervalued, especially by those who are supposed to represent you. But that’s exactly how Melanie Lynskey felt early in her career when she made the journey to Hollywood and started auditioning for various roles. Speaking to Vulture in 2022, Lynskey recalled that it often came across as though her agency was simply going through the motions with her. 

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During her first pilot season in the States, she had no money and was desperately trying to find work. But, she didn’t feel that her agency cared what kind of work she found. “They were sending me out for everything. It didn’t feel like there was somebody shaping a career,” she said. “It felt like I was on a list of a particular type, and if a role came up, I would audition.” Fortunately, Lynskey was able to find a new agent thanks to former “Bones” cast member Emily Deschanel.

“Emily Deschanel, my dear friend, was like, ‘My agent, Rhonda Price, would love to meet you. She thinks you’re great,'” Lynskey told the outlet. According to Lynskey, her self-confidence was shot at the time. But Price was dedicated to getting her career back on track. “My initial meeting with her was probably like, ‘I’m sorry. You don’t want to do this. Nobody wants me,'” Lynskey confessed. Despite Lynskey not believing in herself, Price saw a bright future for her and took her on as a client.

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It was during her audition-for-everything era that Melanie Lynskey landed her role as Rose on “Two and a Half Men.” But while series’ co-lead Charlie Sheen made headlines with his controversial exit from the show (and after the fact, for that matter), it’s less known that Lynskey didn’t exit the show under the best circumstances, either. Lynskey started as a series regular on the CBS sitcom but was relegated to essentially being a glorified guest star over time. However, she had very understandable reasons for taking a step back.

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Continuing the theme of feeling undervalued, Lynskey claimed in her 2022 interview with Vulture that CBS paid her the bare minimum for her “Two and a Half Men” role. Moreover, she quickly came to realize that the project wasn’t a good fit. When she was offered a role as a series regular, Lynskey said people around her were so excited that she thought she should give the sitcom a chance. “It was nice to be getting a paycheck,” she admitted, before adding, “It wasn’t huge; it was literally the least they could possibly pay me, according to SAG.” Lynskey revealed that she wanted to leave after Season 1 but was talked into staying when she was promised a new storyline for her character in Season 2 — a storyline that only lasted one episode.

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Like many women in Hollywood, Melanie Lynskey has unfortunately had to overcome her share of body-shaming. In 2023, Lynskey had a recurring role on “The Last of Us,” HBO’s post-apocalyptic drama based on the video game of the same name. She played Kathleen Coghlan, an original character created for the adaptation who is a resistance group leader based in Kansas City. Around the time “The Last of Us” Season 1 was airing, Lynskey also took part in a photoshoot for InStyle — which prompted a mean-spirited response from original “America’s Top Model” winner Adrianne Curry.

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Curry posted on X (formerly known as Twitter) stating that Lynskey’s body made it look like she was living a “life of luxury” and didn’t match the post-apocalyptic setting of the series (via Today). Lynskey was quick to clap back. In a post to X, the actor pointed out that the photo in question wasn’t even from “The Last of Us.” Lynskey added, “And I’m playing a person who meticulously planned & executed an overthrow of FEDRA. I am supposed to be SMART, ma’am. I don’t need to be muscly. That’s what henchmen are for.”

In another incident, during her time on “Yellowjackets,” Lynskey’s physique was criticized by a member of the Showtime drama’s production team. Lynskey herself confirmed as much in an interview with Rolling Stone. However, she also revealed that co-stars Juliette Lewis, Tawny Cypress, and Christina Ricci unequivocally had her back in the matter.

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As mentioned at the top of this article, Melanie Lynskey and Kate Winslet became close while working on 1994’s “Heavenly Creatures.” However, the two lost touch after Winslet’s Oscar-nominated performance in “Titanic” just three years later left her with very little free time. During an appearance on the “Happy Sad Confused” podcast in 2023, Lynskey confessed that her friendship with Winslet fizzling out was even “more heartbreaking” than some breakups she’s endured. The actor elaborated, “It was so painful. And it wasn’t like anything happened [between us]. It’s just she became a gigantic, international movie star, and she didn’t have a lot of time.”

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We asked Dr. Kelly Vincent, licensed psychologist and owner of the Nourished Wellness Group, if friend breakups can really be just as (if not more) devastating as romantic ones. And she told us it’s not only possible — it’s fairly common. “[This is] because friendships are often built on deep emotional intimacy, shared experiences, and unconditional support,” Dr. Vincent said, adding, “Unlike romantic relationships, friendships don’t typically have a ‘script’ for how they should end, so when they do, it can feel ambiguous and unresolved.” The psychologist also noted that people tend to believe their closest friendships will last forever, making it all the more upsetting if fate has other plans. According to Dr. Vincent, losing a friend “can trigger grief, nostalgia, and even feelings of rejection or abandonment.” It seems Lynskey experienced many of these feelings when she and Winslet lost touch. 

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The “Happy Sad Confused” podcast wasn’t the first time Melanie Lynskey opened up about her lost friendship with Kate Winslet. Speaking to Time back in 2012, the “Two and a Half Men” star once again compared her friendship with the “Titanic” star to a romance, saying it was “more intense than some love affairs that I have had in my life.” But just how did the two actors grow so close? Well, according to Dr. Kelly Vincent, intense shared experiences — such as working on an emotionally demanding project like “Heavenly Creatures” — can foster that sort of deep connection. “When we go through something deeply personal and challenging with another person, our nervous systems can co-regulate, meaning we emotionally attune to each other, strengthening feelings of connection and safety,” she told us.

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Dr. Vincent also pointed out the fact that Lynskey and Winslet were still very early in their respective careers when they starred in “Heavenly Creatures” together, meaning the experience was likely very formative for both of them. This adds yet another layer to the unique bond they shared. “The emotional pain [of a close friendship ending] is compounded if the friendship was tied to a meaningful period in one’s life … because losing that person can feel like losing a piece of oneself,” the psychologist concluded. Losing Winslet after spending such a formative time together and working on an emotional project made the experience particularly difficult for Lynskey.