“Yesterday, Donald Trump announced sweeping tariffs across the entire globe: Asia, South America, Narnia, Arendelle, Wakanda, Bachelor Nation.” — MICHAEL KOSTA

“President Trump yesterday announced a base line tariff affecting more than 180 countries, including a group of uninhabited islands near Antarctica. So, let that be a warning to you, great Pacific garbage patch.” — SETH MEYERS

“Yeah, we put a 10 percent tariff on an island that only has penguins? Trump would have been better off tariffing that island Tom Hanks got stranded on. At least it had one guy and that li’l volleyball he was [expletive].” — MICHAEL KOSTA

“Is this a mistake? Look, I know old people butt-dial strangers all the time, but this is the first time I’ve heard of someone butt-tariffing an entire country.” — MICHAEL KOSTA

“Yep, Trump put tariffs on almost every single country, and as you would expect, the world is pretty mad at us. Right now, Epcot is down to two countries.” — JIMMY FALLON