Dylan Mulvaney was about ready to submit her memoir’s draft to her publisher when “Beergate” happened. “I was like, ‘Hey, I need a little bit more time,’ because I couldn’t force myself to put toxic positivity out there,” she tells Bustle. The plan had been for the book, Paper Doll, to serve as a continuation of her 2022 TikTok series, Days of Girlhood, in which she candidly and often comedically documented her transition. But when a sponsored Instagram post for Bud Light the following year led to death threats and a transphobic backlash, Mulvaney knew she needed to dig deeper.

“I was actually really inspired by Glennon Doyle, who’s now a dear friend. [Untamed] gave me permission to talk about the hard things,” says Mulvaney, who luckily had plenty of ancillary material to pull from. She’s always kept journals, and started experimenting with The Artist’s Way at 14. “I grew up in San Diego doing professional theater and I always had these amazing queer adults around me. One of them gave me The Artist’s Way and I tried it, then I tried it again in college, and then I really committed to the bit during the pandemic,” says the TikTok star, who has over 9 million followers on the platform. “When I started transitioning [in 2022] I was sharing so much online, and my journals were a place for me to talk about what that experience was like just for me.”

In revisiting those entries, Paper Doll began to transform into an unvarnished look behind Mulvaney’s hyperfeminine, ’70s glam veneer. And though the book still features the wit and joy imbued in Mulvaney’s TikToks, she’s eager to share the version of herself free of that armor. “It really does feel I’m this sort of one in a million trans person that had certain opportunities, then went so close to the sun that it ended up burning me,” she says of the journey the book chronicles. “If I can help anyone from that situation, I’m always down. I don’t see myself as an activist, but I will always advocate for queerness and trans-ness, if I’m on Broadway, acting in something, or writing something.”

Below, Mulvaney reflects on watching The Traitors, reading Sissy by Jacob Tobia, and eating lots of Domino’s pizza.

On reading about “genderf*ckery”:

Sissy by Jacob Tobia was a really important book for me because I went as “they/them” for about a year and some change before my full transition. So I think reading about genderf*ckery in general was so meaningful. Now there are so many trans stories, and none of them are exactly the same. But reading Elliot Page’s book or Raquel Willis’, there’s this through line that no matter how similar or different our stories are, it will always bring me to tears or make me smile because it’s reflective of someone stepping into their authenticity.

On the candy she’d fly across the pond for:

Percy Pigs are a UK candy that I’m obsessed with. I literally flew 80 bags back when I left London in December, but I have none left. But when I was writing the book, I was eating hot rolled chips from Trader Joe’s, the fake Takis. And a Dr. Pepper always gets me through.

On going anti-glam to write:

I personally like to look as ugly as possible [when writing]. I have this tie-dye dress that is so god-awful it should never see the light of day. But it’s so comfy. I want hair in a bun, no makeup on, stubble coming in. That’s when, for some reason, I write my best.

On the joy of bed rotting:

I celebrate [a good day of writing] with Domino’s pizza in bed, just zoning out, not read anything, and watching The Traitors. Alan Cumming is my best friend, and I’m obsessed with the show.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.