The Secret to Making It to March Madness Is…Waffle House?
If you’ve tuned into ESPN this week, you’ve likely heard a loud-sportcoat-clad pundit proclaim that a remarkable fourteen of sixteen SEC teams earned berths in the NCAA men’s basketball tournament. Add twenty more teams representing other Southern schools, and there’s no doubt the South is—ahem—standing tall in this year’s sixty-eight-squad contest. Is it just us, or is the region’s size-thirteen footprint also making March Madness’s off-the-court storylines just a bit quirkier than usual? You be the ref:
Waffle House builds winners
Let other programs watch hundreds of hours of film and analyze a supercomputer’s worth of data on prospective players. Troy University coach Scott Cross knows the most important metric is the Waffle House Test. Given that rural Troy, Alabama, boasts an enviable WaHo-to-resident ratio (three for a population of 17,000), Cross naturally offers to treat recruits to a hearty breakfast. He noticed that prospects who turn up their noses at the suggestion don’t sign with the school, while those who would run extra sprints to earn a plate of scattered, smothered, and covered hashbrowns wind up as Troy Trojans. “I told my staff, hey, y’all can save a lot of time and money,” Cross explained to Kentucky Sports Radio in advance of facing the Wildcats this Friday. “First phone conversation: In passing, ask them if they like Waffle House or not.”
Hype-man Cinderella story
Louisiana upstart McNeese State University handily won the Southland Conference to seal a second consecutive trip to the Big Dance, but the most buzzed-about member of its team is…its student manager? Leading the Cowboys out of the locker room in February, Amir Khan wowed players and fans alike by spiritedly rapping along to a song blasting from the huge boombox he’s known to lug around. A fun video of the moment went viral, racking up millions of views, and Khan’s sudden, unlikely fame made him the first-ever student manager to land NIL promo deals with Buffalo Wild Wings, TickPick, and others. Competing schools would love to recruit his talents, but humble Khan reportedly has no plans to enter the towel-boy transfer portal.
Will Wade has made national headlines this season at McNeese, but so has one of his managers.
Who is Amir Khan?
— Jon Rothstein (@JonRothstein) March 14, 2025
Maryland and crabs and all that
It’s not like the University of Maryland Terrapins don’t already have a standout animal namesake. Now a second, even odder nickname is catching on. When the starting players all scored double digits during a February game against Nebraska, a stoked fan spontaneously dubbed the quintet the Crab Five on social media…and it somehow became a whole thing. “I’ll be honest, it took me a while to get it,” said head coach Kevin Willard. “Then I realized Maryland and crabs and all that.” Rather than implying that the players scuttle sideways when setting screens or pinch their opponents if guarded too closely, the tag demonstrates that fans regard the starters with the same deep affection they hold for the state’s famously tasty crustaceans. Just as long as they don’t throw little wooden hammers and Old Bay onto the court.
Towering teen
It’s not often a player on the bench breaks an NCAA record. At seven-foot-nine-inches, however, University of Florida redshirt freshman center Olivier Rioux will be the tallest player ever to play college ball. Indeed, the colossal Canadian was Guinness-certified as the world’s tallest teenager when he was sixteen years old (and several inches shorter) and reportedly topped six feet by the time he was eight. Powerhouse Florida should advance deep into the tourney, but don’t expect to watch Rioux loom over opposing players until next season. Still, Troy University coach Scott Cross (see above) should take note: Rioux’s favorite meal is poutine, so maybe Cross should beg his local Waffle House to put smothered and covered fries on the menu.
