If there was a way to meet your younger self for a cup of coffee, would you do it? If so, what questions might you ask them? For the latest social media trend, users are introspectively sharing what happens when they meet face-to-face with their younger selves, acknowledging the difference time can make—like changes in wardrobe, hair, habits, or those old sayings from grade school you cringe at now. Beyond the inevitable truth that we change and grow over time, this reflective exercise offers intimate access to who we once were. 

“It’s unique because it bridges time, allowing us to acknowledge how far we’ve come, offer wisdom and reassurance to our younger selves, and even find closure for past struggles,” explains Alyssa Petersel, LMSW. “By engaging in this dialogue, we cultivate self-compassion, recognize our resilience, and appreciate the lessons that shaped us—turning nostalgia into a source of empowerment.” 

To test out the impact of this practice in self-compassion, I decided to meet my younger self for coffee—and while she was exactly how I remembered her, the palpable difference between us made me feel a mixture of pride, nostalgia, and deep gratitude.

What Is the “Coffee With My Younger Self” Trend, Exactly?

“The ‘coffee with my younger self’ trend is a modern take on the ‘empty chair’ exercise, often used in therapy for deeper emotional processing,” says Kiana Shelton, LCSW. “It encourages individuals to imagine sitting down for coffee with a younger version of themselves, engaging in a reflective dialogue about their past challenges and wisdom gained.” The empty chair exercise involves a person sitting in front of an empty chair and having a conversation with an imagined person or facet of themselves. Similarly, getting coffee with your younger self is an opportunity to do just that with someone you’re very familiar with: yourself.

The exercise was reimagined when author Jennae Cecelia posted a TikTok of her poem dedicated to her younger self. “I met my younger self for coffee at 10:15,” she writes. “She was late. I was early. I wore my dark brown hair in a slicked back bun. Her hair was faded red and in her face.” In the end, the author walks her younger self home.

What Happened When I Met My Younger Self for Coffee

I meet my younger self for coffee at 2 p.m. Despite our differences, we’re both still night owls who love sleeping in—I tell her to never change that about herself; sleep is an essential act of self-care. She tells me about the book she’s reading in her high school government class, the one that keeps her up at night because she’s not sure whether she’ll be randomly selected to summarize last night’s chapter to the whole class tomorrow morning. I tell her that there’s nothing wrong with being nervous, but that she’s smarter and more well-spoken than she can probably imagine right now. She tells me about the colleges she’s recently visited, the ones she wants to apply to, the classes she can’t wait to take. She tells me that she wants to study journalism, but she’s worried about what her parents will say. I tell her that it won’t be as scary as she anticipates—in fact, her parents are her biggest champions.

My younger self fidgets with her shirt, hesitating to ask the next question: “Did we have fun in college? Did we make new friends?” she asks. “So much fun,” I reply. “You’ll be understood like you’ve never been understood before.” She smiles and poses the next question. “What dreams have I accomplished?” I tell her about moving to New York City, living with her best friends, spending most of her time at Broadway musicals, and worrying much less about what other people think. I tell her she’s going to like Brooklyn way more than Manhattan—but I don’t explain why, because she’ll need to experience that for herself.

In the last hour of coffee with my younger self, she mentions the quote we’d read almost every night before bed, the one by Mari Andrews, the words she knows by heart: “I will someday thank you for the loneliness you endured to become who you are,” she says. She asks me if it came true for her; I tell her that she has a community in every corner of her life. On our walk home, she tells me about the paper she still has to write for English class—but that she’s much less nervous about it than before, because her life is clearly headed in the direction she wanted.

How to Meet Your Younger Self for Coffee

“Whether this practice brings comfort, insight, or even a few tears, it’s a beautiful way to check in with yourself and appreciate the journey,” Petersel says. “And who knows—maybe your future self is already looking back at you with admiration, gratitude, and reassurance that you’re exactly where you need to be.” To give this reflective exercise a try, both Petersel and Shelton offer a few questions to get you started.

• What was my younger self most worried about, and how did it turn out?
• What would my younger self be proud of me for?
• What have I learned about happiness and money?
• What advice or reassurance does my younger self need to hear from me today?
• What parts of my younger self do I want to reconnect with?
• What would my younger self ask me about the life I’m living now?
• Are there any values my younger self held that I still honor today?

By the end of the exercise, you should ideally feel accomplished and proud of how far you’ve come. “Many come away with a deeper sense of gratitude, recognizing that they have survived 100% of their hardest days,” Shelton says.